Admiral of Morality: The Mail

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Mail

My dear Admiral: I have heard that recently, the Windsor Bishop has been visiting the United States of America. I think it is excellent that he has been visiting our sister church in America but am concerned about his continued absence at Buckingham Palace. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the Windsor Bishop the one appointed by the crown to preside at special functions? It is my understanding that he is the one sent into the room to calm the man who breaches the walls of Buckingham Palace, and the one who blesses the steward who brings the Queen her silverware for breakfast. I heard that the Queen refused to let the Windsor Bishop preside at Princess Diana's internment, but will she have him preside at the marriage of Prince William to Miss Kate Middletown? Signed, Miss Clarrisa Mcdiarmid, Shropshire

Miss: It is easy to confuse the Windsor bishops with bishops who perform special functions. The Windsor bishops are bishops who like to meet and talk about how they are fully committed to the church, to each other, and to meeting more at future dates to further discuss their ongoing commitment to talking and meeting. They regularly issue releases about how much they talk.

They do not serve at Buckingham Palace or at the pleasure of the Queen, but many have noted that they may serve at the pleasure of someone. Your confusion about their roles is understandable, and I see that you do place them in their historically important role alongside other fine bishops, among them the Morphy bishop, the French defence bishop, and sitting Bishop. Yours, The AoM
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My dear Admiral: I'm sorry to trouble you about this more, but my son is incommunicado again. If you recall, Admiral, he serves as a boatswain aboard the USS Patrick, and you have had some success in the past in rallying him and his commanding officer. Might you, sir, find a moment to communicate to him, that his father and mother love him very much, and missed him dearly at the New Year? If possible, could you also fix it to have him transferred closer to home? Signed, Mrs. H. Matterson.

Madam:
I was happy to pursue a few enquiries and am assured that your son is not incommunicado, but simply doing the work to which he is assigned onboard. It is I see your fervent desire to have your boy home. Madam, he is needed where he is. I am assured that he is strong, healthy, and well, reading the Scriptures daily, and keeping you and his father in his prayers. Yours, The AoM
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My dear Admiral: On the heels of reports of gay marriages and unions, I now read that the Archbishop of Canterbury himself fears the gay schisms. My question is, if he is so concerned that gays are divorcing, what is he doing about it? If he is so concerned with the private affairs of couples, then what is he having the church do to help couples stay together? Signed, Mr. Richard Dutten

Sir: I believe that the Archbishop of Canterbury was referring to something else. Just as gays may of course legally marry in many places throughout the European Union and North America, their divorces are called just that--divorces. Some places do in fact use terminology distinct from ''marriage'' to describe legally protected gay relationships, such as civil unions, committed same sex relationships, and the like; but a gay schism is not the gay equivalent of a heterosexual divorce. You likely read an article referring to the Archbishop's ongoing concern over how the differences of opinions on the status of gays in our churches, may impact our ministries and witness to the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. As to your question about what the church and the Archbishop are doing to help couples stay together, this will of course vary by parish. The Archbishop himself, however, is far too concerned with much more important matters to concern himself directly with this sort of matter. Yours, The AoM

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