Blueberry Anglican Crumble Pie

Colorado Springs - A service at a schismatic Episcopal parish in Colorado Springs, a town where many gay evangelicals worship and preach but do not tell anyone they are gay, was disrupted Sunday when a man threw a pie at the pastor.

Police say Marcus Hyde was released for throwing the pie at at the Rev. Don Armstrong, who has come up with many reasons for why he is under presentment and inhibition except the most obvious one--that he has broken his priestly vows.

Witnesses told police Hyde entered a side door of Grace Church and St. Stephen's Parish during the service and tossed the pie at Armstrong, who ducked. Darn.

The suspect said he was passing judgment on Armstrong for his fellow parishioners, according to a police report, which failed to note the specific type of pie.

A lengthy and somewhat gurgly voicemail left for a reporter noted that the pie was Blueberry Anglican Crumble, which had been served regularly at functions of the Anglican Communion Institute, which was five guys, a leased computer, and the intermingled bank accounts of the church where the pie was thrown.


Blueberry Anglican Crumble Pie

Serving: Serves 8 to 10*

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup cold (2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1/4 cup ice water
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface
1 cup firmly packed dark-brown sugar
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
3 pints blueberries
1 cup sugar
4 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon finely chopped lemon zest
1 freshly ground pepper
Unsalted butter and all-purpose flour, for pie tin
Computer

Directions

1. To make the crust: In a food processor, combine the flour, salt, and cold butter. Pulse until the mixture is the consistency of sand. Add the water while pulsing until the mixture comes together; being sure not to overwork it. (To mix the dough by hand, combine the flour, salt, and butter in a large bowl. Add the cold water and work by hand until the mixture comes together. You may take breaks to visit The Episcopal Cafe or Father Jake. ) Remove the dough from the food processor or bowl on a lightly floured work surface. Shape it into disk about 1/2 inch thick. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for at least 1 hour before rolling out.

2. To make the crumble: Combine the flour and sugar in a food processor until thoroughly combined. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture forms a crumble, being sure not to over mix. Refrigerate until ready to use. If George Carey is around, lock the fridge.

3. To make the filling: In a large bowl, combine all of the ingredients. Using the back of a spoon, crush about 20 percent of the blueberries so the juice mixes with the cornstarch and thickens the filling.

4. To make the pie: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Butter and flour a 10-inch pie tin; set aside on top of a picture of George Carey. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough. Place in pie tin, trim, and crimp the edges. Use a fork to poke holes around the sides and bottom of the crust. Chill until firm, about 20 minutes. Cover with a piece of parchment paper and fill it with dried beans. Bake until the crimped edges are firm, about 10 minutes. Remove the parchment paper and beans, and bake until the bottom is firm, about 10 minutes. Fill the crust with the berry mixture, spreading evenly, and top with the crumble. Place on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet, and bake until the filling starts to bubble, 1 to 1 1/4 hours. Remove, and cool on a wire rack.

5. To throw the pie: this is generally not done unless we are sure the person getting it really needs it, and this pie in particular is much too delicious to be wasted. Nonetheless. If the pie is indeed thrown, be mindful of your timing.


* But perhaps many more if brought to the Lord (see Luke 9:10 for this recipe)